TrulyAus

Here’s a good one. Did you know you can now wipe your arse with ‘high-quality, environmentally friendly’ First Nations toilet paper?

Now who wouldn’t want to do that?

Yarn’n is an “all-Aussie” start up company that features in this month’s Truly Aus (Rex inflight magazine, July 2025, p. 62). Emma Bartolomucci’s description of the “First Nations owned and operated company” oozes with Aboriginal cultural branding, but she makes no mention of where the paper comes from or how it’s processed. The CEO and founder, Lane Stockton is – mysteriously – culturally non-descript.

Woolworths has gotten into the act, but apparently Yarn’n’s regular wrapping isn’t Aboriginal enough, so it sponsored artist Ambrose Killian to spruce it up a bit. Aboriginal culture is very lucrative these days. Money isn’t the bottom line to Woolies though, which refused to stock Australia Day merchandise this year and not because it’s all made in China.

Ambrose is ‘a proud Eastern Arrernte and Western Bundjalung man’ and a childhood friend of Lane’s (who, as I said, is much more coy about his background). But he’s a good sport, saying, ‘by showcasing Indigenous art, we aim to raise awareness and create appreciation for First Nations cultures. Ambrose’s work is a beautiful way to highlight those values.’

I wonder why Ambrose can’t be a proud Eastern Arrernte and Western Bundjalung Australian man? After all, modern toilet paper was invented by Joseph Gayetty in the USA in 1857. I’m all for our two cultures merging, even if it’s with this rather dubious Western invention. I’ve no idea what Aborigines did to clean themselves, if indeed they always did, but I suspect it depended on their ecological niche. Water is widely used in the Middle East and Asia (although the practice of using paper seems to have appeared in China first) and I suspect Aborigines were probably doing something similar where water was plentiful.

But let’s not get hung up on the past.

“The toilet paper market in Australia is almost a $2 billion industry, largely dominated by global players,” says Lane. Now I’m all for Aussie made products and good on you Lane, for wanting “to make a real difference in Indigenous communities.” But it’s a bit unimaginative, isn’t it? There’s already an Aussie company doing sustainable toilet paper; Who Gives A Crap. Why not be even more sustainable and dispense with toilet paper altogether? Instead of competing with Who Gives A Crap, start a genuinely sustainable Aussie business producing mechanical bidets? Market them as the toilet-paper-free option? You can use a towel. They’re much more hygienic, which is something of an issue in Aboriginal communities. I’ve been doing it for more than 15 years, thanks in part to my decade living in Japan. These days we all know what a bidet is and like toilet paper, it really doesn’t have anything much to do with your culture.

Bidets built into a toilet seat are available around the world in a wide variety; from super high-tech with bells and whistles (that obscure the sound of your do-dos) to bog basic. The non-electrical, mechanical ones are simple and easily repaired. When I go shopping, I use the Ethical Shopping app, so I’ll let them do the background research on Yarn’n’s sustainability claims. Meanwhile, I’ll keep using a towel.

Anyway, back to what matters to Emma, Rex, Woolies and Luke. In Yarn’n’s favour, 50% of the profits go to education opportunities for Aboriginal children, especially those in remote areas. It partners with Yalari Foundation which provides scholarships to Aboriginal students.

That’s laudable, but what does 100% recycled mean? Just the packaging?

I’m really in the deadly dark about who Lane really is. Oh well. What does culture matter? Especially if you look white, ay?